Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Mystery Box


The mystery box! Bask in its mysterious glow!

What glorious surprise do the Leafs have in store for us tomorrow? Will the Leafs announce that they signed Mats Sundin and immediately traded him for Alexander Ovechkin and Ted Leonsis' daughter? Will MLSE inform us that they bought the Ottawa Senators and sold every one of their players to the KHL? Perhaps the people in charge of the ACC have disallowed corporate ticketholders so that normal human beings can actually see a Leafs game.

Yes, yes, I know, you all want me to run the Toronto Maple Leafs, and honestly after my successful stint over at Pension Plan Puppets (found by googling: "toronto maple leafs blog") I can't think of anyone more qualified, but alas I find myself back here at my "interesting" blog that's "worth visiting", so I suppose some baseless speculation is all I have for you today. If Ian White is reading this, you should be happy because I'd bench you so fast your square head would spin you clownshoe wearing dweeb.

Ahem, where were we? Ah yes, tomorrow's secret fan announcement. As much as I'd like it to be something good, I'm going to have to put on the "glass is half empty" goggles and admit that it will be one of the following three things:
  1. The Leafs' new third jerseys. They're white and look exactly like the old third jerseys. Buy a Cujo one today!!!
  2. Seriously that's what they're going to do. It'll be the new jersey. Buy one at shop.nhl.com!
  3. Honest. I have a Sundin third that I was considering using to dry my tears but if they bring it back I might as well wear it.
"A boat's a boat, but a mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat."


general borschevsky said...

Can we see what's behind door number 2?
I was hoping the announcement had something to do with the "Rick Astley Memorial" Award.
Do you think Matt Stajan knows what the announcement is? Didn't look like it.

Jaredoflondon said...

My bets are on "Leafs Bring JFJ back in consultant position!"

well that or the jersey thing, thats pretty solid.

Down Goes Brown said...

I actually moused over the "glass half empty" link to see what poor sap he was making fun of.

Chemmy said...

I wouldn't say making fun of, I just think you're the poster child for Leafs pessimism.

I'm on your side by the way, I'm just a sarcastic upbeat pessimist.

Jaredoflondon said...

Does that mean I'm in the optimist camp alone?

Chemmy said...

You're beautiful in your own way Jared.

Jaredoflondon said...

Wooo! That means I'm president of the club!

Loser Domi said...

Leafs news is usually so depressing I just make up my own stories.