Thursday, January 29, 2009

All I Ask Is That You Remember the Good Times

Remember the heart. Remember the time Sami Kapanen forgot who he was. In closing, this is the precise second where all of us were proud to be Leafs fans:

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Isn't it weird how 'smell ya later' replaced 'goodbye'?

That's right, as of tomorrow I won't be writing in this stinkhole anymore. PPP made me an offer that moved me... into a bigger house!


Oh, I said the quiet pard loud and the loud part quiet. Anyhow, I'll be joining forces with PPP over at Pension Plan Puppets because it appeals to my aesthetic sensibilities and it will allow me to live out my dream of being this guy:

Fear not, I'm going to leave all the posts up here so you can all remember them, and if demand warrants I'll publish all of the posts into a hardcover book so you can read them while you take a crap. So, adios that's how it goes (even though I'm not going very far away)!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Important Mats Sundin Updates and More!

I just don't understand why every week either TSN or the CBC run another story about how Mats Sundin is being a cocktease by not signing somewhere in the NHL. The man is allowed to retire. He's not under contract, he doesn't have to do anything. While chatting with Greener earlier today, trying to figure out if he's actually Steven Spielberg, I got to wondering about what the CBC coverage of Christianity would look like:

"No timetable as to Jesus' return should this deal fall through. Watch this space for this same column to repeat from now until the second coming aka. 'the apocalypse'."

A contest!

Now that I'm done blaspheming for the night, I have exciting news. You'll all have a good reason to read my blog now, I'm holding a contest! I had ten awesome Leafs pins made up, and I'm going to give all of them away. Just look at them!

In case you're not sure, the pins are:

1x Sundin with hair
3x Doug Gilmour
3x Wendel Clark
1x John Kordic
1x Glenn Anderson
1x Allan Bester

I'm not exactly sure what the contest might be, maybe I'll have people leave comments with why they deserve a certain pin, or maybe I'll make you do something embarassing. The point is: at least six of you want a fucking Dougie or Wendel pin, and PPP would probably wear the Bester one with pride and or shame.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

My Five NHL Improvements

1. Get rid of the shootout, it's boring. I'm tired of hearing about how good Jussi Jokinen is in the shootout, because he sucks at hockey. The last thing the NHL needs is "shootout specialists".

2. If having games end in a tie isn't possible, then every game should be worth 3 points. 3 points for a regulation win, 2 points for a post-regulation win, 1 point for a post-regulation loss, and 0 points for a regulation loss.

3. No touch icing sucks, but a rule should be instated about contact (intentional or incidental) within 10 feet of the boards on an icing call. Pushing a guy from behind as he goes to touch the icing shouldn't be allowed.

4. The team with the most points not in the playoffs should draft first. This eliminates any worries about tanking, and should make every game more exciting. The "worst" team in the league is still going to be drafting top ten, which will allow terrible teams to build up a respectable core with good drafting before they move their way up to add a young superstar franchise player and push their way into the playoffs.

5. Expansion teams in Seattle and Hamilton.

And because I'm generous:

6. The ACC's replacement should hold no fewer than 30,000.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Quick heads up

I got my wisdom teeth out this morning, so I'm pretty miserable. I get to spit up blood though, so that's cool.

A buddy of mine started a general hockey blog, somewhat humor focused but not entirely. I've been reading it for a few days and I think a bunch of you guys wouldn't mind reading it, so I'm devoting a post to sharing his link. His blog is called The Two Line Pass, tell him Chemmy sent you. :)

Friday, August 01, 2008

Whoa whoa whoa, who the fuck narced?

What's this business about The Pensblog being shut down? If Blogger isn't the place for self righteous jackasses to post crappy photoshops and talk about hockey then I'm going to need to find somewhere else to write, and that enrages and confuses me.

Seriously though, whoever screws this up for the Pensblog is in for some hurt from the hockey blogosphere. We're chipping in and hiring this guy to straighten things out:

Saturday, July 26, 2008

You guys want some cheap Leafs jerseys? is having their annual customer appreciation sale and cleaning out old stock. I would have passed this along earlier but they still had my jersey size available and I didn't want you all to buy them up while I debated buying one. Now that I have though: has three coupon codes:

CLP30, CLP40, and CLP50. CLP30 takes off 30% on purchases of $150 or more. CLP40 takes off 40% on purchases of $200 or more, and CLP50 takes off 50% on purchases of $250 or more.

The discount includes customization, so an authentic Leafs EDGE jersey with hand sewn customisation comes out to about $175 shipped. Amazing deal if you want a new jersey.