Well, the draft hasn't even started and Toronto fucked it up

The Leafs traded a third round draft pick for... JAMAL FUCKING MAYERS?! "But Chemmy", you say, "I've heard Jamal Mayers plays in the Western Conference and that means he must be pretty good".

He had a fantastic 12 goals in 80 games last season, and he got to play against Chicago, and Columbus 16 times. No worries, maybe he's a playmaker. Oh, 15 assists. Well, he takes a lot of penalties apparently, and he's from Toronto, and he only cost us a third round player in an incredibly deep draft. Detroit will probably be drafting their replacements for Zetterberg, Lidstrom, and Hasek after that point but getting Jamal Mayers seems pretty good.

Honestly the guy is 33. If he was 25 and didn't suck this could be an ok move, but I'm pretty sure that a trained ape could draft someone who was "gritty" in the third round. Nice work Leafs, you ruined my draft day at 8:42AM EST.

ps. This will be my last post around here for a couple of weeks, I'll be writing for Pension Plan Puppets while PPP is on vacation. I'm sure all four of you who read this blog will be ok seeing me write crappy posts somewhere else for a few weeks.

'Til the day I die that's the way it's gon' be

Today my friends, we have been freed. Freed from the shackles of Stamkos hoping. Free from the oppressive shackles of the playoffs. Free from the Leafs being good in the next decade and forcing an ugly repeat of 1993 when we thought we had a chance. You see? Other teams are hopeful and optimistic. I know that my team stinks and I can't change that, so what should we do?

Yes sir, today we put our feet up and have a drink while we wait for summer. To that end, I give you a beautiful nugget of wisdom from Poet Laureate "Young Jeezy":

I just left Jamaica I'm talkin' Nachos Rios
Sippin' margaritas on the beach in my Adidas



Said quote and imagery were absolutely not chosen because the song in question is called "Corporate Thuggin". I would never accuse our benevolent overlords at MLSE of using the Leafs and my hopes and dreams to make cash.